update!

it's been forever since i last posted, so i thought i would just update you on the progress of my goals!

1) sign with a new agent! **check**

it's no secret that i am unhappy with my current representation.

complaining and whining about the situation i was in did nothing to better it.

i found myself in the same spot...with elevated blood pressure.

so, i've decided to start taking the steps towards finding better representation.

last month, i had a consultation with one of toronto's top acting coaches.

after our meeting, that the acting school will help me get in contact with bigger, better agents in the city.

having their support is amazing and i can't wait to start the process.

i'm officially a FREE WOMAN and have met with an agent whom i absolutely adore and will definitely sign with!

2) book my second union project! **check**

one step closer to full union status!

**i'm just going to throw this one out there - DEGRASSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

i'm not allowed to announce the project but i recently wrapped on a new FX pilot that is currently shooting in the city...

3) attend the mandated workshops for ACTRA apprentices

this one's pretty self-explanatory.

4) contact YEAA and start attending meetings (network, network, network) **check**

those are basically all my goals for the time frame mentioned above.

i just want to audition regularly!

because the relationship between the number of auditions and the number of bookings is a positive correlation - the more you audition, the greater the likelihood of you booking something...

pray for me.

xoxo,

TA

"crystallize your goals."

as mentioned in my previous post, i wanted to take some time to write out my goals for june  - august 2013.
i've always made dream boards and the like but there's something about not only writing down your goals but how you'e going to go about achieving said goals, that i feel holds you more accountable.
*holy run-on sentence, batman.
it's like paul j. myer once said:

crystallize your goals.

make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline.

then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms carry out your plan.

so, i present to you my goals (aka. dreams with a deadline) for june - august 2013:

1) sign with a new agent!
it's no secret that i am unhappy with my current representation.
complaining and whining about the situation i was in did nothing to better it.
i found myself in the same spot...with elevated blood pressure.
so, i've decided to start taking the steps towards finding better representation.
last month, i had a consultation with one of toronto's top acting coaches.
after our meeting, that the acting school will help me get in contact with bigger, better agents in the city.
having their support is amazing and i can't wait to start the process.

2) book my second union project!
one step closer to full union status!
**i'm just going to throw this one out there - DEGRASSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

3) attend the mandated workshops for ACTRA apprentices
this one's pretty self-explanatory.

4) contact YEAA and start attending meetings (network, network, network)

those are basically all my goals for the time frame mentioned above.
i just want to audition regularly!

because the relationship between the number of auditions and the number of bookings is a positive correlation - the more you audition, the greater the likelihood of you booking something...

pray for me.

xoxo,
TA

how dare my last blog post be on may 7th?

i've always been the worst at keeping up with diairies/journals/blogs/the kardashians, etc.

but i will try and be more diligent with this blog starting...now.

anyways, from my last blog post, i have some updates for you all - i've decided to kill two birds with one stone and cross of the items off my goals for march - june 2013 list as i update.

so, without further ado...

i) book an actor or SOC role (or two) on a union project  
at the end of last month, i booked my first actor role on a union project!

i also got thisclose to booking a recurring role on a episodic here in the city...

when i got word that i got a callback with the writers and the producers, i was like:

when i got word that i had in fact not booked the role, i was like:

the CD later sent me a note saying how i was fabulous and how i've grown so much as an actress in the past year and to be discouraged, and i was like:

"no, it's totally fine.
thank you for the opportunity."

i was just about to crawl under a rock and fall further into the abyss that is rejection when i got the most amazing email from my wonderful sister.

(i loved it so much that i actually wrote it out in it's entirety and read it often to keep my morale up.)
a little excerpt:

you don't know what amazing, wonderful, incredible reason there is why you didn't get that role. 

you have know idea what's coming, but whatever it is, it's going to be AMAZING. 

i know it!

after reading her email, i was like:

"you right, you right."

i'm now ready and anxious for the next audition that comes my way. 

ii) contact ACTRA toronto as soon as i receive my first union credit and begin the paperwork needed to become an apprentice
i'm now happy to report that i am an ACTRA apprentice member!

*i don't know who this baby belongs to, but i love him!

iii) as soon as you're all set up with ACTRA toronto, contact YEAA and start attending meetings - set up connections!
i'm slacking on this one...

iv) continue practicing and working on my craft in the downtime - get together with contacts, watch movies, practice cold reads, etc. 
i've signed up for a week long workshop with the director of one of toronto's more prestigious acting schools.

v) and lastly, don't get discouraged!

so, yes.

that's bascially what i've been up to in a nutshell.

since these were my goals for march - june 2013, i should probably create a list of goals for june 2013 - august 2013...

until next time.

xoxo, 

TA

purpose of bookout dates?

i recently returned from the most amazing trip to the ums.
upon booking my plane tickets months ago, i sent my agent a quick email letting her know i would be unavailable during said dates.
upon leaving for my trip, i emailed my agent again reminding her that i would be gone for said dates.

so, please, riddle me this - why am i receiving an email with an audition notice?
what's the purpose of book out dates if you're going to submit me for projects that conflict anyways?
needless to say, i was not impressed as it's just not a good look for either one of us.

this whole incident reminded me that it was time to call in my reinforcements and request the industry consultation i spoke about in an earlier blog post.
i need to sever ties with this agent.
stat.

yesterday's audition?

"success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it."

so, how did my audition go you ask?

my audition time was 4:10 pm and i got there super early to do my hair and makeup/get in the zone, blah.

anyways, there were three other girls in the waiting room with me - two of which were "visibile minorities", which i took as a good thing for me as it seemed like casting was leaning in that direction.

the girls were in and out of the room at a rapid pace until it was just me in the waiting room.

the casting associate asked me if i was ready and i was like, you know what?

so, i went in and did my scene the way i had rehearsed it and was told to do it again several different ways.
by my count, i must have performed the scene at least 5 times.
i was told my take was wonderful and that it was always nice to see me.
the CD and i laughed at an inside joke (i love that we have inside jokes...) and i was sent on my way.
i'm not sure if i booked the job (*crosses fingers*) but i definitely booked the room.

xoxo, TA

hallelujahhhhh!

my prayers have been answered in the form of an audition for this monday.

when i saw the email from my agent entitled "audition notice - ********", i actually could have cried.
a principal role on a tv series shot in toronto is just what the doctor ordered.
go figure that it shoots around the time i'm to leave for my sister's destination wedding but i'm hoping the Lord will hear my prayers and the stars will align to help me book and shoot this.

in either case, my agent finally did her job and now it's time for me to do mine.
i'm gonna learn these sides like the back of my hand and walk into the audition room like:

*throws sides.

luck is just preparation meeting opportunity, right?

it's a good thing i'm prepared :)

xoxo, TA

the diary of a mad black actress from toronto

first of all, my thoughts and prayers go out to every in boston and it's surrounding areas.
i pray that this madness will end with no more casualties...

i was initially going to write this post as a way to voice my frustrations of being a black actress in toronto canada period.

i was going to talk about how the roles for black actresses are so few and far between in this city and  that when they do arrive, it's almost always for stereotypical "black girl" roles: 

teen mothers, girls with attitudes, bullies, girls named 'chantal' (why this is the "go-to" black girl name, i'll never know), dancers, sidekicks, rappers, rude gyals...you get the point.

i was going to do all uh dat (*insert stereotypical "black girl" snap in a z formation here*) but that would be the longest blog entry ever.

so, i've decided to make my argument via photos:

i present to you, canadian tv shows - 

republic of doyle

heartland

being erica

this hour has 22 minutes

the border

degrassi

*i'll give them a little bit of credit, as they are probably the only canadian show that has a pretty diverse cast.

"i know...it's been sooooooooooo slow."

on friday, i emailed my agent to ask her how the industry was going because i've "noticed" i haven't had an audition in over a month. i also asked her if there's anything i should do to promote myself or if she's heard of any workshops in the city worth attending.

her response:
"i know...it's been sooooo slow!"

my reaction:

28 days.
0 hours.
19 minutes.


xoxo TA

a letter to the person i will not be working for in four months...

aka. my agent:

it's a shame that i'm even writing this letter as i really had high hopes for our working relationship after our initial meeting.
okay, maybe i'm lying.

prior to meeting with you, i met with 3 out of the top 5 agencies in toronto who all had the same feedback: 

- great talent with a lot of potential

- encourage you to work on building an even larger body of work

- please focus on gaining some union status as that will lead to more opportunities to work with established professionals and gain more connections in the business

- please re-submit within six months

- wish you all the best, blah blah

so, if i'm being completely honest, i came into this relationship with every intention of leaving you once i fulfilled the majority of these requirements.
i also felt that during our initial meeting i made it perfectly clear my disinterest in doing anything in the musical/live theater world for a good while.

flash forward seven months later and here we are:
you've gotten me a total of 10 auditions - 2 of which i've self submitted for and 3 of which i had to literally beg and plead to be submitted.
(i still have a feeling that you didn't actually submit 2 of the 3 self-taped video submissions to their respective casting directors but that's another issue in itself...)
oh and, you're still constantly sending me information on theatre auditions in and around the city.

now, i'm one to give credit where credit is due.
so, i do have to mention that of the 10 auditions, 3 of which were for casting directors i had never auditioned for before.
so for that, i thank you.
but that's about all i'm going to thank you for.

i'm constantly doing my part in trying to stay on top of what's casting in the city and have emailed you a few times about projects i feel fit my specs.
responses like "saw it. didn't submit you" irritates me to no end.
but you know what's more irritating?
seeing fellow actor friends of mine with very similar specs and weaker resumes booking projects that you weren't even submitted for...
let's not forget, refusing to submit me for american projects shooting in the city because "the chances of them casting a non-american is unlikely" even after informing you that i am a DUAL CITIZEN!

i'm on casting workbook, aaaction auditions, actors access and mandy a ridiculous number of times a day and for you to send me a submissions list that contains an overwhelmingly large number of projects I submitted MYSELF for, is beyond disturbing.
being scolded for EMAILING you "outside office hours" was laughable.

i could go on but this letter slowly turning into a short story and i can feel my blood pressure rising.

but here is where we stand:
it is tuesday march 26th, 2013 and as of this moment, i have accomplished a vast amount of the items on the "list of requirements" i was given by other agents.
i have also decided to call in some reinforcements to help make my submissions to these agencies much more effective this time around in the form of a working consultation with one of the city's finest acting coaches.
lucky for you, he's in LA until the first week of may or else i would have already started my agent search for 2013.
so, it seems like i'm stuck with you for 40 more days, 20 more hours and 41 minutes...

long story short, get your sh*t together or i'm gone.

deuces,
TA

love me some will smith.

obviously, will smith is a phenomenal actor.

his resume speaks for itself.

but, he's also been known to drop some serious words of wisdom.

i found this compilation video on youtube of some of his best inspirational quotes that i'd like to share.

my personal favorite?

his theory on talent vs. skill:

"the separation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, who have dreams, who want to do things, talent you have naturally. 

skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft.

i've never really viewed myself as particularly talented.

where i excel is ridiculous, sickening work ethic.

you know, while the other guy's sleeping, i'm working.

while the other guy's eating, i'm working.

there's no easy way around it. 

no matter how talented you are, your talent is going to fail you if you're not skilled.

if you don't study, if you don't work really hard and dedicate yourself to being better every single day, you'll never be able to communicate with people - with your artisitry - the way you want...

it's really that simple."

that master william <3

xoxo, TA

"keep calm and be patient" - goals part dos

"people with clear, written goals accomplish far more in a 

shorter period of time than people without them

can ever imagine."

i'm well aware that i've already written a blog entry on the importance of setting goals.
but apparently, i didn't write them down effectively as i've had absolutely NO AUDITIONS this month...

*dying.

i've been checking in with an actor friend of mine who has very similar specs and she, too, has had no auditions this month.
so, i guess that's a consolation.

since i have so much downtime, i decided to re-visit my goals for 2013 and perhaps, focus my attention on the time leading up to the summer months (which i'm hoping and praying will be busy).

i present to you, my goals for (the rest of) march - june 2013:

i) book an actor or SOC role (or two) on a union project  

ii) contact ACTRA toronto as soon as i receive my first union credit and begin the paperwork needed to become an apprentice

iii) as soon as you're all set up with ACTRA toronto, contact YEAA and start attending meetings - set up connections!

iv) continue practicing and working on my craft in the downtime - get together with contacts, watch movies, practice cold reads, etc. 

v) and lastly, don't get discouraged!

until next time.

xoxo, TA

an ode to netflix

let me just take a moment to express my love for a little website named netflix.

dear netflix, 

you have single-handily changed the way i choose to spend what little spare time i seem to have.

on my bed, wrapped in my comforter, eyes glued to my macbook as i watch whatever tv series i'm currently obsessing over.

first, you brought me 90210.

albeit, i no longer have any desire to finish the series, i thank you for the memories.

i really do hope naomi finds the love she truly deserves.

then, netflix, you brought me misfits.

i never thought a show about a group of troubled youth from england would entertain and enrapture me the way this show did, but it did.

although, there were far too few episodes, i had some great laughs.

i thank you.

and most recently, sir netflix, you brought me the vampire diaries and for that, i will be eternally grateful.

i've just completed at all three seasons available on netflix and was able to locate season four episodes and am now all caught up.

now, i'm just (im)patiently waiting for the series to come off their spring (?!) hiatus.

i honestly don't know what to do with myself.

i haven't known life sans vampires diaries for a while now.

so, netflix, as i raise my figurative glass to you in a virtual toast, i ask you for a new series to obsess over.

whenever you're ready to provide me with one...

whenever you're ready.

*sips figurative champagne.

speaking of vampire diaires.

this scene (please see below) from episode 416 just sends shivers down my spine.

impeccable acting from miss nina dobrev (toronto, what what?!).

my heart really broke for miss elena.

***spoiler alert - watch at yo' own risk.

xoxo TA

full circle.

"the wheel is come full circle, i am here."

shakespeare's king lear

act v,  scene iii

we've all heard the stories of "normal" people being catapulted into fame just by being in the right place at the right time:

rosario dawson - discovered while sitting on her front stoop in NY

pamela anderson - discovered after appearing on the jumbotron at a CFL game

johnny depp - attended an audition with a friend out of sheer boredum; asked to read for a part in the film by wes craven himself; nailed it; booked it

charlize theron - discovered by an agent after throwing a fit at a LA bank

natalie portman - discovered while eating pizza in long island

jennifer lawrence - discovered while walking through the streets of NY with her mother

david boreanaz - was out walking his dog in LA; a talent manager spotted him and thought he'd be perfect for the role of "angel" in "buffy the vampire slayer"...

and, my personal favorite: 

harrison ford - while building cabinets for george lucas, he was asked to read lines for absent actors starring in his upcoming film, star wars; steven spielberg overheard these readings, loved them and hired him for the part of han solo...

i think you get the picture.
now, i am in no way demeaning the success of these actors/actresses but their respective "big break" stories is something most actors dream of.
that is why i find it so refreshing when i hear stories of successful actors whose rise to fame didn't come so easily.

one of my favorite examples of hard work and persistence is bradley cooper.
a few months ago, i watched his episode of "inside the actor's studio" and i was enamored.
he talked about being a student at the actor's studio drama school and asking robert de niro a question to starring alongside him in "limitless" (and now, silver linings playbook).
it was such an awesome feeling to watch him get emotional at the realization that he had just come around full circle.
the entire interview had me inspired and now has me longing for the moment when i realize that i, too, have come around full circle :)

enjoy the clip below!

xoxo TA

words of wisdom...

why, hello there :)

like i mentioned in one of my previous posts, i am obsessed with quotes.

so, i've decided to start sharing some of my favorite ones with you!
i'd like to call this segment of the blog 'words of wisdom'.

*corny, i know.

so, without further ado, i present to you today's 'words of wisdom' from the one and only, mark twain:

now, i don't believe that you should keep all your ambitions and goals a secret (which may be apparent by my previous post...)

i think that telling some people these things will give you the drive and determination to follow them through.

however, i do wholeheartedly agree with mr. twain  in that you should select those individuals you choose to confide in very selectively because, like another one of my favorite quote says : "few people actually care, the rest are just curious."

xoxo TA

goals are dreams...with deadlines.

"our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must

feverently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act."

- stephen a. brennan

(you'll quickly realize that i, "toronto actress", LOVE quotes!)

this particular blog post is pretty much self-explanatory - my goals for 2013.

i think it's important to write down any goals one may have as it gives you a clear focus on what you want to achieve. it is only then that you can then formulate a plan of attack as to how you're going to go about achieving said goals.

so, with all that being said, here are my GOALS for 2013:

i) book union gigs - an actor or SOC role on degrassi, la complex (*this list was written before the show was (unjustly) cancelled), hannibal, port hope, beauty and the beast, saving hope, rookie blue, cracked, MOW, feature film, etc.

ii) obtain FULL ACTRA MEMBERSHIP - i've come to realize that if one wants to be taken seriously in this industry, union status is a must!

iii) join YEAA - network! network! network!

iv) self-tape for projects in the US - i need to start taking advantage of my dual-citizenship...ness.

v) immerse yourself in the acting world!

vi) keep training! 

vii) diversify your special skills.

now, on to the HOWs:

i) coaching prior to auditions, isolating myself for an hour before auditions, arrive at least 30 mins early;  relaxation exercises, use nerves to benefit (ex. practice lines after doing jumping jacks so you're used to increase heart beat, etc.)

ii) goes back to #1 - don't forget about ACTRA classes for additional credits!

iii) as soon as you get (i) and (ii) under control, THIS!

iv) movies at the TIFF lightbox, film festivals, watching inside the actor's studios, etc.

v) classes and privates at lewis baumander's, john riven (*keep emailing), second city...

vi) keep horseback riding, sign up for silks class, take dance classes, etc.

hopefully writing down these goals and the creation of my vision board (i will post it in a later entry) will help me remain focused on my goals and the steps i need to take to achieve them.

xoxo

TA

allow me to introduce myself...

why hello there...

let me take a moment to (quasi)introduce myself - my name is “toronto actress”. clearly, that’s not the name my mother gave me but it’s the alias i’m choosing to use...for now. basically, i’ve taken a page out of backstage’s “secret agent man” and have chosen to keep my true alias a secret. perhaps, one day i will reveal myself.

i’ve been wanting to start a blog for a very long time but never really knew exactly what i wanted to blog about. then it dawned on me - why not blog about the struggles of being an up and coming actress in toronto? through acting classes and various other blogs of similar natures, i’ve come to realize that there a lot of us in the exact same boat. so, i’ve decided to start documenting my experiences as i navigate through this crazy, crazy world.

if anything, this could be a way to document the strides i’m making as an actress and will be a great resource for the days i’m feeling down and out...

thank you for coming on this journey with me.

...and, away we go!

xoxo TA

ps. the title of this blog - "it's a long shot but i say why not" - comes from one of my favorite kelly clarkson songs, long shot.
the words of this particular song really resonate with me and i often play it when i'm feeling discouraged.
take a listen :)